I intended this to be a place where you’d occasionally find some of my fiction - that is, any that isn’t currently under contract, protected by NDA or not actually owned by me. Recently, though, a friend suggested I publish something about my one “productivity hack,” which is a terrible term which I happen to hate. The name doesn’t even really apply here, either, because it only shows its face once I’ve been productive. In fact, it’s often the result of a lack of productivity. I call it “The List.”
I learned it from a friend of mine, whose own productivity is nothing short of pretty fantastic, and who is constantly teetering on the knife’s edge of giving up, or so he says. Making The List is something he absolutely requires on some days, just to keep him going. I can be the same way, and even though depression or life might get in the way here and there, most days I allow myself the few seconds The List demands from me. I open it up where I keep mine (you can do this anywhere, like notebook, or a text file, or a Word doc, whatever - I do mine on Google Keep at the moment) and write down whatever it is I feel I accomplished that day.
I do a new list for each year. Right now, it’s only entitled “2022,” and whenever I can justify the energy, I’ll write down the things I did that day, with the date underneath my list. A new line for each item. Some items are as simple as “Ate an amazing grilled cheese!” or “Unnamed celebrity liked my tweet!” and sometimes they are entirely bereft of punctuation, if I’m feeling bad about bragging. You know, to myself.
Which is really the point - this thing is for me. I shouldn’t feel bad about the occasional exclamation point, especially when one of them might be something like “I spoke to one of my favorite authors today” looks kind of underwhelming without the six or seven exclamation points I added. I suppose this is a bit like finding an affirmation that works for you, only I’m terrible at telling myself I’m going to do something, so instead would rather revel, however briefly, in having done something.
There’s no small or big here, because internally I will probably remember the big ones, but the list also exists for later. Small accomplishments one day can feel like a mountain climbing expedition on a day where nothing has happened and I feel empty. Looking back can help. It can often push me back into updating my list when I’ve been lax. I’ll give myself a little credit for staying on it pretty regularly, but I don’t feel bad when it drops off because The List’s only purpose is to make me feel good about myself.
This isn’t usually stuff I’d brag about on Twitter. Not that I brag much, anyway, but it’s stuff I wouldn’t even bother mentioning to most people, but I know what it means to me, so I’m bragging to myself. I’m reminding myself of something - not my value, because I try not to place that much weight on these things - that I need a constant reminder of. Namely: I’m still moving. I haven’t quit. I’m doing okay. Even on days I’m not feeling like any of those things are true, I bang out a couple of words about having taken a nice walk and there we go. Proof I’m still here.
Yes, I’d love for my own art, or my own work that supports my art to be the thing that reminds me of this feeling - and make no mistake, those things are on there, too (“Wrote another 1,000 words!”) - but having it all in one place acts as a memory aggregator of stuff I take for granted. I take plenty for granted. Even - and sometimes, especially - the big stuff. I frequently feel like “this isn’t enough,” or “I’m not where I want to me,” but sometimes the reminder that you’re there is a reminder that that’s where you’ll always be - there - and that that always has to be enough.
John Fig